On Changing my Name
Changing your name when you get married has never stopped being a hot topic I don’t think. For as many people who think it’s not feminist, there’s as many who think it’s a powerful choice. For as many woman taking their husbands surnames there’s plenty of men taking their wives, or an amalgamation of two, or same sex couples finding their own place, or people creating entirely new surnames to suit.
It’s considered an old fashioned tradition to change your name but I think it has it’s place, as long as it’s not expected and every party is happy with it and I think like with most things, it has a place if you want it.
I have changed my name, contrary to what my blog name says my name is now Gwennan Elizabeth Craddock and some of my documents have changed (but the rest are my lockdown activities) but I definitely wrestled with it.
Tradition was important to Jos - Like getting married before having kids, tradition meant a lot to Jos who when I think about it has been brought up with incredibly traditional values, which I have too but it weirdly didn’t mean as much to me as it did to him. There are now five Craddock women in the family, from his grandmother to my mother in law, both my sister in laws and now me and he really likes that.
My name is my identity - I had a real confidence of crisis a few weeks before the wedding where I thought I actually don’t want to change my name. Changing your name is a big thing whether you’re sure you want to, sure you don’t want to or generally aren’t sure and your name is so much a part of you and who you are and I definitely had a panicky moment.
Being a Rees is important to me - I have always said being a Rees is really important to me, that our family history and being a part of it is important to me and family is everything in my life. All of that’s true but when I thought about why I wanted to stay a Rees, to stay the same as my Mum and Dad, my brother and my nieces and cousins I started to wonder whether it was being a Rees that was important to me or whether it was being in my family, which I am whether or not I have Craddock or Rees on the end of my name.
Wanted my family to have the same name - By thinking about family I started to think about if we’re lucky enough to have a family some day and actually, having the same name as my own family is incredibly important to me. In the same way as it being legally beneficial to be married, it’s also easier in general having the same name as your kids and as family is everything to me, having my own tribe was something I wanted to protect.
Rees as a middle name - I still hadn’t decided even on the day of the wedding if I was going to put Rees as a middle name. I have always like the way my name flows, having one long name and one short and Gwennan Craddock felt a bit long but I didn’t want to double barrel Rees Craddock either. My sister in law mentioned she might remove her middle name and put her maiden name as her new middle name but my middle name is my Mum’s first name and I’d never want to get rid of that. I have toyed with the idea of putting Rees as a second middle name but was holding off until I was sure because I’d have to pay to change that via deed poll. For now, two months in I’m happy with just Craddock and no Rees but I have decided I want Rees as a middle name for any future children I might have and that I think will be a nice tie to my side of the fam.
Kept my professional name Rees - I think this is what cemented my decision for me really. It mattered to Jos, I wanted my family to have one name but what sealed the deal was realising I’d be getting the best of both worlds anyway. My professional name was always going to stay Rees anyway, my business is registered as my name, my shop and my blog and my social media is all under one name and that was never going to change and then I decided to keep my professional name as Rees in work too for ease. So now I am Gwennan Rees at work and working and Gwennan Craddock at home and in my personal life and I actually really love having both sides of me.
So yeah, if you hear me signing for a parcel by saying “that’s Rees, R double E S” you’re going to have to forgive me, it’s hard having two names love.
