Ok so yes, technically I didn’t write one per day because the ol’ coronavirus hit the world and my motivation took a little dip but hey, I backdated the publishing so at least it looks good……
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I would say I haven’t had the wedding blues that bad but maybe that’s because a month later the UK went into lockdown and I had other things to focus on but when I got ill on the drive home from our mini moon and spent the next two weeks getting one cold after another I definitely had my low moments.
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Yes, the pre wedding period might be full of planning, decisions and admin but that honeymoon phase has a pretty hefty checklist to follow too - especially if you change your name. From updating your details everywhere to opening a joint bank account (we never needed one until people wrote cheques in both our names in our cards). From writing thank yous to collecting your photos to selling your leftover decor - there’s a mountain of jobs to do.
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Wedding planning is A LOT - that we have established. And whether you’re having the full affair or something more low key, whether your budget is a few hundred or a few thousand, whether you’re taking the traditional route or not, there is a lot of work that goes in before a wedding day comes about.
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Hello and welcome to the most unromantic list ever of why we decided 10 years was a decent enough time to tie the knot after all……
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I had a real confidence of crisis a few weeks before the wedding where I thought I actually don’t want to change my name. Changing your name is a big thing whether you’re sure you want to, sure you don’t want to or generally aren’t sure and your name is so much a part of you and who you are and I definitely had a panicky moment.
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We booked our honeymoon back in November or December of last year but we’d settled on the plan a little while before that. We thought quite a bit about where we wanted to go and Jos’ passport has expired and whilst we really need to get around to renewing it, we’d pretty much already made up our minds on what we wanted to do.
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Before getting engaged I’d never have considered a winter wedding, but after having one it definitely was the right season for us. Of course, that didn’t stop me from considering what I’d have done if we got married at any other time of year….
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Our venue had all of February and March free so we could pick a date that suited us. We got together on 7th May 2010 and engaged on 7th October 2018 so getting hitched on 7th February 2020 which was a Friday made pleasant sense, combined with the fact it was my Mum’s birthday that weekend too seemed fun and so we booked it.
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I’m sure we’ve all been to a couple of weddings and I have been attending them since I was a baby and had to be taken out for a walk at an extended family member’s wedding so I didn’t get arsey. I have been to family weddings, friends weddings, been bridesmaid 3 times before my own wedding and the more frequently I went to them the more I got a vibe of how I’d want my own to go.
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Weddings are going to cost you money, there is no two ways about that. There is no such thing as a free wedding, even if you do the bare minimum legally with not a single frill or even a celebratory meal afterward, it costs to give legal notice and get your wedding certificate. And the more you add on to your day the more the cost adds up and even those who profess to have a ‘cheap’ wedding can easily spend a grand. A cheap wedding these days is a few thousand, with the average British wedding costing £31,974 you need a decent amount of cash behind you for your big day.
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From the minute you get engaged or decide you should probably crack on with booking something, all thoughts, questions and topics of conversation turn to wedding planning.
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Non traditional weddings are not for everyone and even if they are for you, chances are they won’t be what half your guests had in mind. For me, the more non traditional the better and the best weddings I have been to have been the ones a little off the curve with a little extra summin summin but I appreciate, it’s not what everyone wants and that’s a ok too. Whilst we did stick to some traditions, the general set up of our weekend was definitely far from your usual big white wedding but it seemed to go down well with most.
From a pub quiz to watching the rugby before the reception to our guests not actually seeing us get legally wed, we did not do things the ‘normal’ way and even now looking back I am so sure it was the right thing for us, it really was a blast - I am sure some friends and family probably thought we were nuts.
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I don’t have regrets about my wedding day (weekend) per se, just maybe small changes I would have done different - and it’s all sentimental which I am sure a lot of brides and grooms can relate to. I think it must be the saddest thing to regret parts of your day or regret the way you did it but for us, it really did work out the best for us and it’s the little things I wish I’d done in hindsight….
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There are many myths and superstitions revolving round weddings and your wedding day, but a lot of them are spoken for a reason….
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A month on and the wedding is already a bit of a blur, all mixed into one playlist of songs and no idea what happened when and a haze of hugs and thank yous. I have a list of post wedding admin and jobs I need to get round to doing and one of them is writing down exactly how the order of the day went so I don’t forget and another is recording my favourite stand out memories so they stay with me forever.
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Weddings are mad full of traditions and even if you are having a conventional wedding day, keeping up with everything you’re ‘supposed’ to do is a minefield. Even though we weren’t having a traditional wedding at all, I still had to give time and thought to whether or not we’d incorporate any traditions at all and basically, if not why not.
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There is a wedding to suit every shape and size, every budget, every bride and every groom and every personality in between. For some people, a DIY wedding would be their worst nightmare and for some it could be no other way. For us, it was a bit of something in between based on need and the type of wedding we were having.
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As much as I love live music and want to support some businesses and bands, our budget was never going to stretch to having someone play at our wedding and I have never seen the point of a dj at a wedding. For 25 quid instead we hired the speakers at our venue and I got the Spotify Premium free trial and we created and downloaded a playlist which spanned the whole wedding party and had everyone on the dance-floor.
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I thought long and hard about wedding presents for our closest family, friends and suppliers. I knew I wanted to get them all something because they had all gone the extra mile to help us and support us and although I knew they’d be livid we spent cash on them, it was important to me to get them something personal to show our appreciation.
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