The Pros and Cons of a DIY Wedding & Some Top Tips
There is a wedding to suit every shape and size, every budget, every bride and every groom and every personality in between. For some people, a DIY wedding would be their worst nightmare and for some it could be no other way. For us, it was a bit of something in between based on need and the type of wedding we were having.
Pros.
Complete control - Definitely the biggest plus to having a do it yourself wedding is being able to take complete control of it. I am a big control freak and feel extremely anxious when I’m out of control so being able to take it all on myself was always going to appeal to me. If you like a challenge and you prefer to be project manager then a DIY wedding is probably right up your alley.
Personal touches - When you’re on a package deal there’s often certain stipulations you have to follow when it comes to your day. Perhaps your venue doesn’t allow certain decor, perhaps they have a noise limit after a certain time, maybe you have to use a certain caterer. If that’s not your shebang then maybe a DIY do would allow you to add the personal elements you’re craving. For us, our venue was a blank canvas and we were allowed to do what we wanted so having that element ticked as a big win.
Make it your own - Again, on the same theme but less decor and meal choices, more the order of the day. A lot of package weddings have a set way of doing things, they have a plan, they follow an order and that was never going to fit for us and our random way of getting hitched. Having a DIY wedding means it’s all up to you how you want to go about it and that’s a real gem if you’re planning a less than traditional marriage.
Save some cash - Package weddings come with a price tag and that price is set. Sure you can upgrade, you can add more but each change comes with another set price and there is very little room for saving a couple of quid. Having a do it yourself wedding allows you to save a few bob where you can and that was another big tick for me. A lot of ‘traditional’ wedding costs seem ridiculous to me and I knew I wouldn’t be wanting to spend on them.
Cons.
Complete control - Ok yes I know I just said it was a perk but it can definitely be a negative point too. If your partner is anything like mine* then chances are the wedding planning is 99% down to you and that complete control can be a little testing at times. Having complete control does of course meal being the port of call for all decision making, answering all questions from suppliers and can be a lot at times.
*he wants it known whilst the wedding was down to me he did do the tasks I hated at the end like bagging up the favours and also took complete control of the house from November to February so I didn’t have to add another 2489284 chores to my to do list.
Stress - Leading very nicely on to the most obvious one then….doing a DIY wedding is stressful. All wedding planning is stressful I have no doubt but doing it yourself means you don’t have a wedding planner, a coordinator, a venue contact to fall back on. I found the wedding planning more stressful than I found it enjoyable a lot of the time and I wasn’t prepared for that, I thought it would be a much more even balance.
You’re your own boss - I of course was my own boss for a long time but being my own boss at wedding planning was a whole different ball game, and one I struggled with. When you’re setting the deadlines and maintaining a full time paid job and trying to live a life and see people and have a clean house, I found the wedding deadlines slipping. We only had 11 months between booking our venue and the big day which wasn’t a long time for everything we had to do but I still found myself putting things off until the last absolute moment and then working till 3am on a school night plenty of times to get things done.
Cost - The big one I’d say and a major misconception that is a cheaper way to go about wedding planning. For sure you can save money in areas and that choice is yours and a DIY wedding allows you to do that but when you’re sourcing everything yourself it can really add up. I am 100% confident if we’d gone for a set wedding package at a local hotel we wouldn’t have spent as much as I think we did (I haven’t added up the final cost). Venues and wedding planners often have deals with caterers and preferential rates so when you’re an individual sourcing things yourself, having to hire in equipment and the like then the costs can soar and it’s worth remembering that.
My tips for throwing a DIY wedding….
Do your research before anything else. It is absolutely not for everyone in the same way a package wedding wasn’t for me. Know what you’re getting in to and if it’s even viable for you.
Make a budget before hand. We did not do this, we just booked the venue and paid it off the week after the wedding and just spent in between when spending was required and I put a chunk of my wage away every month to pay for it and it stretched. Would not recommend, not sensible.
Add a good 10% onto your budget, preferably more. Lots of things cost more money than I was expecting, things I didn’t even know about like the fee for bringing registrars out to a venue, anything from a supplier with the word ‘wedding’ attached. If you are setting a budget, add more.
Get multiple quotes for everything. I absolutely did not follow my own advice on this one, not even bothering to email a single other photographer because I knew I wanted Simon but for pretty much everything else I did do my research and price comparisons.
Just because you are doing a DIY wedding doesn’t mean it ALL has to be DIY. I would say ours was a good 80% do it yourself but the joy of all the decisions being down to you - you can choose to hand some parts over to other people. Our venue is part of a bigger enterprise which includes butchers as caterers and whilst you can bring outside caterers in or do it yourself, there’s a fee involved and I was more than happy to just take the easy road and use the in house caterers and it was so worth it.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. I was such a control freak over the whole wedding I absolutely bloody hated asking for help or passing some parts over to other people and even when I did, I regained control of them by having a list of what things were with other people and what jobs were assigned elsewhere until I was sure they were done and back with me. Trust me, it does not make for an easy life and people really do want to help you.